The Program – 12 steps.

One of several part of my search for truth or wholeness have been also via several kinds of  anonymous 12 steps groups that had helped me to discovered the reality of myself and family background and loving God.

I think that it was my dear sister Inge, who told to me once about  the codependency and so I discovered Pia Mellody and Melody Beattie books  on this theme from the library. One of my interest topic is psychology so when I got first M.Beattie book Codependency No More, I  began to read it and  I realized that I might have some of characteristics of it like wish to control my own life. As I wanted to know more of it,  I decided to join with CoDA Estonia email group in 26^th January 2009.

Sometimes those 12 step groups make so called united spring or summer days where is attending members from different 12 step groups. So in May at same year I saw the description of similar event of spring days  coming outside of Tallinn and I decided to check it out as I felt that I am on the journey.

So in those spring days at 2009,    I had privilege to  attend in my first Al-Anon and AcoA meeting and there, for the first time of my life, I began to realize that  my mom little comfort  drinking might had affected it  how she had taken care of me in my childhood. 

 After that realization I started to visit firstly both groups- Al-Anon and ACoA -until I realized that ACoA is  more for me because really  I had grown up in  dysfunctional family which contained father with  his mentally illness and problems of his childhood and mom developed Al-Anon from her first 10 years marriage with  full time alcoholic and then with my dad in her “new life”. Both of them was children of the war time at 1944.

Then I heard more about other 12 step programs like OA, DA/UA, SA and SLAA and they all had helped me to work out issues of my life together with help of God. I believe that those programs are one of tool of God to help people find Him as with working steps from different aspects in different 12 steps groups is possible to grow spiritually and discover more about God. I consider for myself those programs as my second spiritual home beside Heaven as my real home (See Phil.3:20) and my home church as first spiritual home (See Heb 10:25).